Saturday, 7 February 2004
Apartment Annoyances
From time to time, some things get to me about the furnished apartment that I rent. Especially at this very moment as I'm simultaneously dealing with several of them. Guess which ones!
- Thin walls resulting from subdivided apartments: so that I can hear my two neighbors blasting music; watching TV; talking loud ("loud" like "standing a block apart loud"), on their phone or to each other. Bonus points: the visiting mother from the Ukraine who yells at soap operas.
- Shitty DIY plumbing: so that the spray from the air bubbles in the bathroom faucet goes down my entire front. Remember: there's never a second chance to make the first impression that I have serious issues with bladder control.
- Carpet on several walls and doors and Astroturf on the bathroom floor: seriously. With a margarita-on-the-beach tile motif. Why yes, Mrs. Proud-Mom-of-the-Owner, I could tell that he did everything himself. Goes great with the plumbing.
- Plaster dust and paint spots over almost every surface of my apartment: so that three weeks after I've returned, I'm still cleaning. I've had to break it down into separate projects. My sleeping area and bathroom together took me three continuous hours the night I returned from seven time zones away. After fourteen hours of travel. Which goes perfectly with...
- Incompetent workers: who, despite the following, did a decent repair job. Go figure. Why would an "accidentally" broken window ornament end up under the mattress - on the other side of the room? Where is one of my better pullover sweaters now? (Hint: not in the drawer it was in.) Why did they plaster and paint every white part of my apartment, but not the little red-painted corner with major chunks of plaster missing? Did they feel physically threatened by several boxes of food (unopened when I left, ripped open when I returned), or just unable to buy their own lunches? Did they think I wouldn't notice the floorboard they broke in half - one part pointing straight up? Like the statues on Easter Island, some things remain a mystery.
I reserve the right to bitch and moan more in the future.
Thank you, that is all.