Thursday, 10 November 2005
Scared the Living F--- Out of Me
If you want to see a great thriller/horror flick, go see The Descent. No link, no details (except to disambiguate by saying that it's the film with the women spelunkers).
I don't want you reading any spoilers. Just go see it.
It's been almost two hours, and I'm still shaken. Having seen more than my share of horror flicks, that's really unusual. Great stuff.
Saturday, 1 October 2005
Jonesin'
I'm beginning to understand what the TV-addicted people, who I normally make fun of, go through. Today is the first day in several weeks that I haven't been able to download a new episode of SciFi channel's Battlestar Galactica, which airs on Friday evenings in the U.S. And I won't be able to again until the series comes back from its mid-season break.
I vividly remember watching the original series as a kid, usually while my dad cooked our Sunday steak dinner on the grill. Years later (and years ago), I watched its single season of episodes in a non-stop marathon, on the fledgling SciFi channel.
I realized during the later viewing just how corny the original series could be. But its basic premise - the last vestiges of mankind, searching for a fabled "Earth" - resonated with me all the same. It still does today. I loved ancient mythology as a kid, and a sci-fi twist - with us humble Earthlings as the distant (spatially and temporally), fabled MacGuffin - is a pretty cool concept.
I was none too sure of this reworked series, having only watched the two-episode miniseries that ended up serving as the series pilot. But I finally got around to watching the first season this summer, and got hooked. I've since regularly watched the second season as it's come out on American TV. Thanks to the Internet, I've been able to keep up just as well as anyone with a VCR in the U.S. I'm definitely buying the DVD set.
So, be supportive of me in your thoughts as I pass through this difficult time. In the meantime, I'll be skimming the Battlestar Wiki for more rumors and trying to avoid reading too many spoilers.
Wednesday, 8 June 2005
Revenge of the Sith
Last Saturday, Heather and I finally went to see the final chapter in the Star Wars series. There's are no new angles to review for you if you're interested, and there's nothing I could make more attractive about my review if you don't already care.
I have had one thing on my mind since seeing The Phantom Menace. Fans and fanatics alike denounced Lucas's foray into self-indulgence. Jar Jar, midichlorians, Jar Jar...
But when it comes down to it, the movie pretty much was in keeping with the whole series up to that point. I mean, let's face it: Star Wars was no Shakespearean classic. A classic, sure, but no work of art.
The difference was, today's rabid fans (and I) were between 6 and 10 years old when Star Wars first came out. The first movie - and the rest - squarely target at that age group, and to giving the sense of wonder that all things sufficiently "cool" can instill in kids.
To this day, I remember my friend's birthday party excursion to the theatre to see it. I remember lifting my feet off the floor during the garbage serpent scene. I remember knowing that it wasn't real, but still being thrilled by the remote possibility that it could be real.
Yes, I can remember that first time I saw Star Wars, with elementary school friends in lil' ol' Rochester, Minnesota. I'm certain that I'll remember seeing the last episode, with my wonderful girlfriend in Paris, France.
George, you may have done wrong. You may be a hack or you may be brilliant. In any case, thank you for these fun - sometimes cool - films that dotted 28 years of my life.
Thursday, 19 May 2005
What the Hell Was That?
There's a shaggy-dog joke that I love to tell whose punchline goes something like that. And right about now, you're probably feeling like you're the punchline of some joke that you didn't even know was being told.
Or not. Whatever.
Well 'round about last July, I tried doing one movie review per day. And failed miserably, I might add. This flurry of movie "reviews" was supposed to have been a part of a much greater blizzard. In July. Err, yeah.
So cleaning out my coffers, I offer to you them - these jewels that the world would have been that much less for, had they never been revealed.
Or not. Whatever.
But beware! For while my back-stock of reviews is now empty, one day they may again rise. Evil incarnate! Inanity innate! The undying, ever-present threat of... movie reviews from the past!
The Stepford Wives
They said it couldn't happen again! But they were wrong! It's yet another... movie review from the past!
(everything after this point was written on 10 July 2004)
I don't like to take my lead from other movie reviews. True enough, I'll often read one before seeing a film - it's hard not to do, since U.S. films are usually released later in France than in the U.S.
I went to see The Stepford Wives with more than one poor review hanging in my mind, but still determined to form my own opinions. After all, this was Frank Oz we're talking about. How could the man who brought us Bowfinger, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels and Little Shop of Horrors have strayed so far as to be accused of making a lousy movie?
Qui perd gagne !
Now! Never seen before! Never read again! It's... movie reviews from the past!
(everything after this point was written on 29 June 2004)
Going to see a French comedy is a gamble. There are certain cultural differences in what is considered "very funny," but even the French consider the quality of their comedies to be uneven. Big name stars don't guarantee anything, much as is the case in the U.S.
So, it was very appropriate that the first French comedy that I've seen in ages was Qui perd gagne ! - and that it also happened to have a big-name star (Thierry Lhermitte).
The Day After Tomorrow
When did it happen? No one knows! Why did I write it? Nobody cares! Movie reviews from the past!
(everything after this point was written on 13 June 2004, plenty of editing fix-'er-uppers right now)
There are some movies that you see because of what you know about them. Others, you see despite what you know. In the case of The Day After Tomorrow, it's a little of both.
The opening doesn't pull any punches - well, except for one, and it's a sucker punch at that. Walking in to see a disaster action film, knowing that you're walking in to see a disaster action film, why would you be surprised to see the disaster in full bore? Well, you wouldn't. Except that the opening moments of the film aren't the disaster, but "just" some little disaster to whet your appetite. Thanks guys, didn't really need that, but thanks.
Monster
From the depths of time! Out of the darkest recesses of my hard drive! It's... movie reviews from the past!
(everything after this point was written on 16 May 2004)
What kind of person goes to the movie theater on a beautiful, sunny day to see a dark movie about a serial killer? I guess the type of person who is me.
What kind of person kills? Not once, but repeatedly? I guess that would be a monster.
Wednesday, 17 November 2004
Babe, I Dream in Better-Than-Color
I have a pretty weird/amazing mind. Things have gotten to the point where not only do I dream in cinema - replete with pans, zooms, cutaways and more - but now my dreams result in pretty decent script treatments.
I wrote down everything below not long after I woke up this morning (or rather yesterday morning, technically speaking), so it should be fairly complete. I've now edited it, so it should also be clear.
Take a gander. Mind, if you pitch it or turn it into a film, I want my pound of flesh.
Wednesday, 20 October 2004
Things That You Didn't Miss, Aren't Missing Anymore
Any of you (all one or two) who actually follow my movie "reviews" may have noticed a distinct dearth of said material in recent times. I started falling behind way back in March, so many of you (the other three or four) may never have noticed at all.
In one failed experiment, I tried to catch up by doing a review a day for the month of July. I made it to 11. I guess at least you could say that I made a useful discovery: Imaginary deadlines apparently motivate me much less than any real one would. Good to know.
Part of my writer's block was that I tried to write each entry in the same order that I saw the movies. That's great for writing up the more complex ones, and I regret having lost some of my impressions (and expression thereof) by procrastinating. But many experiences just don't lend themselves to insta-punditry. So, the list of writer-blockers grew, while I continued passing on reviewing other films until I could "catch up."
With my previous entry, I hereby declare amnesty. Maybe I'll get back to the missed reviews - I hope so. In the meantime, here's to starting up again...
Tuesday, 19 October 2004
Resident Evil: Apocalypse
Never let it be said that I'm not pig-headed obstinate when I want to be. Well, I don't think that too many people would say that about me. But now you can insert another word somewhere in that sentence's grammar tree: "stupid."
I knew that Resident Evil: Apocalypse - the second, sad heap of narrative rubble that passes for a cinematic adaptation of the eponymous video game series - would be stupid. Professional reviewers told me. Game industry writers told me. Friends told me. Friends of friends told me. Strangers on the street practically bowled me over to tell me.
So it's small wonder that I have no one but myself to blame for seeing this film - which, in a sad comment on my social life, essentially amounted to my first "movie meal" after a two or three week-long fast. In a way, you could equate it with a man condemned to death choosing mac 'n' cheese - made from the box - as his last meal.
But hey, I thought to my self, it'll have two hot, gun-toting babes who kick ass. Sure, as expected they'd be surrounded by the prerequisite melange of Eurotrash accents and indeterminate Canadian shoot locations. But at least there would be two hotties. And if that wasn't enough, they would be hot.
Thus began my downfall.
Friday, 27 August 2004
Might as Well Throw in Some T&A - Oh, Wait...
So, it looks like Taxi - one of the few decent French action/comedy films ever made - is being "treated" to an American remake. That much I already knew.
What I didn't know is that the taxi driver would be Queen Latifah. I'm sure the male (and/or French-culture) chauvinists will have something to say about the very masculine main role being taken by a woman. (Though she is pretty kick-ass, despite some recent blah movie roles.)
Or maybe not. The chauvinists - and myself - will probably be very distracted by the supermodel bank-robbers. Yum. That's almost - almost - enough to forget that Jimmy Fallon is co-starring. (And I'd say it's pretty telling that I know enough to say that - despite his star rising well after my move to France.)
Sunday, 11 July 2004
Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter... and Spring
I see a lot of films, that's for sure (nah, ya think?). A good part of these seem to be made up by Asian films - Chinese, Hong Kong cinema, Japanese, even Thai. France, at least in the cinema, is paying more and more attention to Korea.
Having seen, shuddered to, and liked The Isle, I didn't want to miss Ki-duk Kim's latest, Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter... and Spring. The beautiful, saturated colors that filled the previews made it an even easier decision.
Unlike the occasionally shocking Isle, Kim's latest is relatively flinch-free. Playing like a poem, the film moves with a slow grace as it follows a boy learning from a Buddhist monk. Their days seem mostly unstructured, with only occasional guideposts: morning prayer and simple chores (which could double as meditation, I suppose).
Saturday, 10 July 2004
The Cooler
For whatever reason, I seem to have an inversely proportional rule to writing about movies: The more I like them, the less I end up writing in my reviews. This entry definitely breaks that rule.
Fair enough, maybe I was affected from having spent three and a half hours laid over, waiting to board my flight (planned). Or maybe it was the more than two hours that I spent at the gate waiting after boarding the plane (unplanned). Or perhaps it was the nasty couple behind me, or my fatigue - or one of the million other potential reasons I'd have to put me in a bad mood for my eight-hour transatlantic flight.
Or maybe, The Cooler was just complete crap.
Friday, 9 July 2004
Mona Lisa Smile
In one of my favorite movies of all time, a character has come to accept the monotonous drudgery of his world. Traveling from one city to another, often on red-eye flights, he has compartmentalized his life to an extreme. Single-serving meals, single-serving bathroom kits, single-serving friends.
Sitting on my own flight, eating my own single-serving meal, I settled in to watch my single-serving entertainment. Much like the plane, its crew, and everything else related to a flight, in-flight movies are chosen to be safe and comforting. Regardless of any outwardly appearance of risk, every chance has been calculated to within acceptable parameters.
Thursday, 8 July 2004
The Company
Robert Altman has a well-known history of making his filmed subjects... interesting. Sometimes, "interesting" means adding enough of a twist as to brew controversy. MASH was ostensibly about the Korean war, but was a direct comment on Vietnam. Prêt-à-Porter and The Player upset more than a few among within respective power structures. Even more amazing, the latter was his first Hollywood studio film in twelve years - not a good way to win friends, but he pulled it off and even managed to find fans within the industry.
There's also the stately but more neutral Gosford Park. Then there's Dr. T & the Women or Popeye. Popeye? Yup.
So, what to expect from The Company, a movie about ballet? How about one that stars bad boy Malcolm McDowell? But wait - what if the headliner was Party of Five-r Neve Campbell? Hmmm - now we're stuck on a fence: Will Altman rip apart ballet's snobbish power structure, or handle it with kid gloves?
Wednesday, 7 July 2004
The Station Agent
There's something appropriate about watching a film starring a dwarf as an in-flight movie. The cramped seating and inhospitable conditions seem designed to make just about anyone, of any size, feel uncomfortable and out of place. And if those are only temporary conditions, can you imagine how someone who's outsized by life might feel?
Tuesday, 6 July 2004
Along Came Polly
When writing my movie "reviews" (I'll admit it: they're pretty much my using movies as an excuse to go off at the mouth), I might give the impression that my tastes lean a bit toward the elitist. You know, "those who can, do; those who can't, review." But despite being hard to satisfy, I like a simple, fun movie just like the next person.
"A simple, fun movie" pretty much sums up Along Came Polly. Ben Stiller has some pretty decent credits to his name, and seems to be able to get away with loads of silly movies while retaining his credibility. Jennifer Aniston, on the other hand, has done a few respectable films - but will probably always be remembered for her role in "Friends."
Monday, 5 July 2004
Kiki's Delivery Service
Any country that produces cross-gendered super-powered teenage heroes, hero-worships a giant, rocket-powered, flying turtle or considers deadly-venomous blowfish the height of fine dining by needs must be deemed - and let's be honest here - not too right in the head. But like Jerry Seinfeld's wacky neighbor Kramer, the Japans of this world serve to make life more interesting.
Well, Kiki steps up to the plate and swings a homer: her mere presence makes other people's lives interesting. Of course, that's sort of what you'd expect when you consider that she's a pre-teen apprentice witch who makes broom-express deliveries while accompanied by her talking black cat.
At times, I had the impression that good ol' Kiki was a little soft in the head. But her work ethic and gentle perseverance ruled the day: the big city that she loves so much ends up loving her back. You couldn't get a better-spun morality tale if the Pope himself had written the story (though probably without so much of a flying-witch-and-talking-cats angle).
But this is Hayao Miyazaki's movie and it wouldn't be complete without all the trimmings. Sort of a cross between Lewis Carroll and Walt Disney, this is a man who I'd want as a neighbor. Even his evil robot clone would be welcome to come knocking down my door to borrow a cup of sugar.
Sunday, 4 July 2004
Immortel (ad vitam)
I think that people can define what is to be expected from them. There's one extreme: you can choose not to do anything, and never fail. Or you can try to do everything, and probably never succeed. The trick is finding the balance between setting the bar too low and setting it too high - and then, following through.
Immortel (ad vitam) is a perfect example of this philosophy. Enki Bilal is an amazing artist. He's best known for writing and illustrating bandes dessinées (larger-format hardcover volumes that come out every few years as opposed to the thin monthly editions that the U.S. calls "comic books").
His illustrations are nothing short of breathtaking at their best, a mixture of watercolor, ink and other media that give a surprising mount of texture and depth. He seems spellbound, if not obsessed, with possibilities resulting from the fusion of living beings (usually people) and inanimate objects (machinery, stone, metals, etc.).
Saturday, 3 July 2004
The School of Rock
Do you like chocolate? How about ice cream? Caramel? How about any sweet, in any form?
If you answered "no" to all of those questions - or maybe even if only to one of them - you don't need to bother reading any further. Go back to your liver-and-onion-lovers support group and practice your bitter frown.
The rest of us know the pleasure of things for their own pleasure. No benefits (aside from the visceral), no grand contributions, no guilt. Self-indulgent. Bohemian. Hedonist. Voluptuary.
These are all names that Jack Black would understand, and they apply just as well to The School of Rock as to his character in it. This is a film with no aspiration of greatness, not interest in elevating the audience's consciousness, no hope to improve the quality of your life.
Friday, 2 July 2004
Runaway Jury
When I was younger, I used to love watching "L.A. Law." I'm not sure why, maybe I was just a glutton for punishment. But in that case, there must be a lot of gluttons for punishment - at least in the U.S. The guts of law, after the real guts shown in medical dramas, seem to draw people's attention like few other dramatic situations.
Maybe it's not too surprising: the Romans had their gladiatorial combats. What else, if not our modern bread and circus, is a showdown in a courtroom? Authors like John Grisham seem to smell the blood in the water, and they've tracked it with some success.
Thursday, 1 July 2004
The Butterfly Effect
I'm not positive, but I'm pretty sure that Ashton Kutcher's career arc could be an early warning sign for the approaching apocalypse. How else to explain Demi Moore's dumping Bruce Willis for this boy toy (wait, I guess I just explained that one), the popularity "Punk'd," or a movie that portrays Ashton as a genius psychology student?
There are some movies that require suspension of disbelief for full enjoyment, such as Star Wars or Edward Scissorhands. Others demand suspension of disbelief for even partial enjoyment, such as most teen-sploitation sex comedies or the last ten years of Woody Allen's body of work. And then there is The Butterfly Effect.
Thursday, 17 June 2004
The Five Obstructions
Aside from what I'd read in a review (somewhere, no longer sure where), I went into The Five Obstructions knowing - and expecting - very little. I'd never seen its source/subject, The Perfect Human. Sure, I knew Lars von Trier's work (and his reputation), but nothing about his hero/subject, Jørgen Leth.
In fact, arriving late, I even missed a good amount of the introduction. So much for a "pure" exposure to the film or a complete viewing in its integrality.
Thursday, 18 March 2004
Girl With a Pearl Earring
What makes us who we are? Is it what we do, or how we do it? Or is it something beyond our control, or even immutable - a state into which we were born, living out our lives until we experience a single, final change?
These are metaphysical questions, and to be fair Girl With a Pearl Earring isn't attempting to answer any of them. But - tangentially, at least - it touches on each one.
Beyond that, I'm not quite sure how to look at this film.
Big Fish
Tim Burton is a personal favorite of mine: he's silly, whimsical, and childish - all in the very best ways. Sometimes his best intentions result in a very bad movie (Mars Attacks!, Planet of the Apes). Other times, it's nothing short of pure genius (Edward Scissorhands, Beetlejuice). Few people can bring us simple joys like Pee-wee's Big Adventure with such relish as someone who's fully in touch with his "inner child."
Make no mistake, it's Burton's inner child who's at the helm of Big Fish. Bookended by a bigger-than life Ewan McGregor and a stately (and understated) Jessica Lange, life is viewed from the height of a child looking up - with all the distortion and exaggeration that implies.
Wednesday, 3 March 2004
Paycheck
Disclaimer up front: just thinking about how I'd try and describe my reactions to Paycheck wore me out. You at least get the option of reading the rest or not.
Watching this film, I was overcome with the feeling that someone pitched making a "B" film with A-list actors. We'll overlook the question of whether Ben Affleck really merits being called "A-list." Uma Thurman and even Paul Giamatti could qualify.
Monday, 1 March 2004
w00t! g33kz 0wnz0r3d teh 05c4rz!!11!
We geeks r00l: In a clean sweep at the Academy Awards, Peter Jackson and LotR: The Return of the King won in all eleven categories in which they had been nominated. Crossing over from my music loves, Annie Lennox's composition/performance won best song (if you missed it, you didn't stay for the credits). What a great combo.
I was glad to see that Lost in Translation won Sofia Coppola the best original screenplay, and that Sean Penn won best leading actor. I really liked both these nominees, and wouldn't have wanted LotR's success to have contributed to pushing them out completely.
It would've been great to see Johnny Depp win best leading actor, but the Academy surely took into account the success of the 300-pound gorilla of fantasy films. On the other hand, similar logic didn't apply to Benicio Del Toro, who didn't win the best supporting actor. Tough choice; Tim Robbins certainly earned it so I'm not too disappointed.
Funny that I pay attention to all this, since I'm really not a fan of the Oscars (or any industry awards ceremonies). No surprise, but I find them to be self-congratulatory fluff for what amounts to a rather incestuous king-making process. On the other hand, it's great to see so many good films come out in the last year and that so many made the list. Guess they got me, hook, line, and sinker.
Thanks to foreign distribution lag and my not going to the theatre as much as usual, I haven't yet seen a good half-dozen of the nominees. Gotta get cracking.
Tuesday, 24 February 2004
Something's Gotta Give
I guess I'm not exactly Nancy Meyers's target audience: male, under-40, and not naturally given to getting myself into "wacky" situations. But then again, I do like seeing a funny movie.
Which is why I was disappointed when Something's Gotta Give seemed more like a series of awkward moments passing for comedy. "Jack and Diane," as the American movie poster un-ironically bills its leads, get off to a rough start and warm up to their roles as the story progresses.
But wait: since movies are filmed out of sequence, wouldn't that mean that the rough moments come and go? So that means that the apparent clumsiness is actually intentional, right? Hmmm.
Thursday, 19 February 2004
The Last Samurai
Let's get this over with right away: I don't particularly like Tom Cruise. I never really took a shine to him, no sir, as (someone's - his?) grandpappy might say. I find him arrogant, self-centered, and lacking common sense. Like Keanu Reeves, what he does is less accurately "acting" and more of a reflection of who he is; the difference is that Keanu admits it.
Not that any of this stops me from seeing a film with Cruise in it. Far from it, since it would be my loss for missing high-concept or big-budget movies that otherwise are enjoyable. Like The Last Samurai, for example.
I like Japanese films, especially ones that involve action and swords. One of my favorite directors, Takeshi Kitano, is Japanese. This, however, was neither Japanese nor a sword-and-action film - rather, it's a straightforward story in "exotic" settings aimed at an American audience.
Thursday, 12 February 2004
Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World
So, I finally got around to seeing Master and Commander. Despite the number of films that I watch, every year there are a few Academy Award nominees that I don't get around to seeing until after the nominations are announced; this was one. Rather than risk missing it in the theatre, I finally set aside the three hours it needed.
I definitely agree with a friend's advice that this was a must-see on the big screen, but not for my usual reasons (usually involving larger-than-life action or amazing images). While he did include some action (and decent action, at that), it felt more like Peter Weir needed every last square inch of screen to show the enormity of the ocean. More subtly, it reminds us that life is a series of greatly impacting moments separated by large spans of... well, "normal stuff."
Saturday, 7 February 2004
21 Grams
Have I ever mentioned how much I like Alejandro González Iñárritu's work? Probably not.
Here is someone willing to challenge his audience, one of the abilities that I value the most when it comes to an artist. Of all the shorts in 11'09''01, his was the one that had the greatest impact on me - yet I hadn't even known it was his work until much later. Amores perros was excellent, and the goodness continues in 21 Grams.
It's the way that this film keeps you off balance with its pendulum swings through time, getting ever closer to the defining center point of their arc and hitting the extremes that neighbor it. How much is life worth? Hard to say, when you're experiencing it from within - uncertain, confused, myopic, looking for a direction to take or a path to follow.
An impressive trio of lead actors, who Iñárritu gets excellent performances out of. I guess I should add "as usual," except that this is only his second major release. I'm looking forward to his adding more to that list.
4 / 5 : definitely see this one